Tuesday, June 11, 2019

There is NOOOO Honking in Fairhoipe



 

Having grown up in Southern California, I really didn’t hear the almost incessant horns honking for absolutely every infraction they see clueless drivers commit. It’s like living on a busy street and being unaware of the traffic noise after a few weeks. When people visit, they hear it, and then it is dragged into the forefront of your hearing. But left unnoticed, it remains that way.

Moving to Fairhope almost six years ago, besides the friendliness and warmth of the people, I almost immediately realized that there was no one honking their horn – for any reason. It was wonderful.

When I observed local people following what we in California charitably called ‘Q-tips’ – skinny old people with white hair of which I am one, by the way - going ten miles per hour BELOW the speed limit on a two-lane highway, they simply smile, relax, push back in their seats and go with the flow. And they seem genuinely happy about it. It surprised me.

I’ve noticed that people in my newly adopted town don’t seem to be all that much in a hurry. Which, again, coming from California, is a shock. Before moving here, getting to my destination one minute before everyone else became a way of life. Didn’t matter if I raced over the speed limit, honked my horn or even… yes, I admit it – even if I gave them the middle finger salute for having the gall and audacity to slow my progress in any way.

Not anymore.

In Fairhope, I learned that it is not so important to get there first. No one cares, and least of all the locals. I learned that going slower, enjoying the view, the journey, spilled over to my personal life as well. Put in perspective, it doesn’t matter if it takes you one minute or ten minutes more to get there. You just learn to leave earlier and enjoy the ride.

That’s why it has been unnerving to my senses to recently hear horns starting to honk in Fairhope. 

With all the articles and publicity about how charming and wonderful our little corner of the world is, ‘tourists’ are flocking to see what all the hype is about. And they are not disappointed. The city is a flowered jewel. The influx of tourists is good for our family merchants and local restaurants as well.

But…

Unfortunately, along with this they have brought that annoying habit of ‘honking their horns’ for every little infraction they deem to have been committed. They don’t realize that there are no walk signals in the city. The stoplights, as far as pedestrians are concerned, are merely suggestions. You can tell who the tourists are if they wait for a green light before crossing the street. Locals walk across the street when convenient. And you know what? It works.

But the blowing horns is simply annoying.

On my way to lunch a few days ago I observed three different cars honking their horns and noticed the license plates were not from around here. I know this sounds like I am picking on ‘tourists’ from other states, but I have yet to see a car with Alabama plates honking a horn unless waving to say hello or to avoid an accident.

I feel like yelling at them to stop. But that would be rude, and we tend to take our ‘southern manners’ seriously here in our little slice of heaven. So, I have a suggestion. We post signs at all entrances to Fairhope that read:

There’s no Honking in Fairhope.

If they have seen the movie A league of Their Own with Tom Hanks uttering that famous line “There’s no crying in Baseball,” they will get it. If not, maybe we can persuade them to continue driving on I-10 another few miles west to Mississippi where they can honk all they want.

©John O’Melveny Woods

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